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Libertyville Divorce Blog

Women tend to be hit with financial surprises during divorce

Divorce can act as a financial wake up call to women in Illinois, especially if they left all financial matters to their husbands. A recent survey of 1,785 women who were planning to divorce, in the middle of a divorce or had completed a divorce indicated that 46 percent of them had experienced financial surprises when ending their marriages.

A divorce financial analyst who contributed to the survey process agreed that women frequently get some eye-opening surprises about money matters. She said that some clients had limited knowledge of marital debts arising from home equity loans, mortgages, 401(k) loans, student loans, car payments and credit cards. Some of her clients had not expected that they would need to enter the workforce again. They had assumed that they would receive larger amounts of spousal or child support. A portion of women had expected that keeping the marital home would have been easier to achieve. The huge cost of health insurance also surprised some clients.

How money can lead to divorce

Illinois marriages that end in divorce are frequently unable to survive because of issues related to money. For example, a marriage could end because there was no communication or trust when it came to the household finances. To improve communication, couples should come together often to have conversations in an honest and safe manner. These conversations should happen at least once per month.

When one person in a relationship is a saver and the other is a spender, it can be difficult for each to come to agreements regarding how money is used. Ideally, a plan will be created that allows money to be set aside for retirement or paying for a home. The rest of the money can then be used how the couple sees fit.

Financial recovery may be possible after divorce

The financial implications of divorce could derail a person's long-term goals. In fact, legal fees and separating assets may leave an ex-spouse with a lot less than they need to retire. By reevaluating goals and adjusting targets to reflect the new status, someone who was recently divorced in Illinois may be able to get back on track and regain financial independence.

Credit reports are a good place to start when one wants to know how much debt they actually need to repay. Regardless of what the divorce decree might say, creditors could still pursue former spouses to collect on joint debts. A thorough review of debts prior to finalizing the divorce could help a spouse avoid taking on more than their share of the marital debt. If getting divorced means using retirement funds or having to transfer some of a retirement account to a spouse, it's important to make up for those losses by increasing contributions as soon as possible.

Is divorce in the genes?

When Illinois residents consider that between 40 to 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, they might wonder what exactly, makes some couples divorce and others stay married. A study published in the American Psychologists Association suggests that there is a gene that predisposes some people towards divorce.

According to the study, people whose biological parents had been divorced had a higher incident of divorce . This study looked at 20,000 adopted children and found that 20 percent of children whose biological parents had experienced divorce had also gotten divorced, regardless of the relationship between their adopted parents. This, however, did not mean that having divorced biological parents was a definite predictor of divorce for the children.

Your amicable divorce and the folks who do not understand

People in a wide range of situations want to divorce without a fight. This can happen even if cheating, gambling, addiction or other issues are present. You do not need to explain to anyone why you would prefer to divorce amicably, but you could cite children, moving on as quickly as possible or mistakes made on both sides.

It can be really frustrating when you and your spouse have done everything that you can to make the divorce friendly, yet people such as your parents, friends or siblings may not understand and try to interfere. For instance, if your parents are babysitting the children and your spouse picks them up, your parents could get in several hurtful, snide remarks about how you "really" feel. Similarly, your siblings might bad-mouth your ex to your children. What can you do in such cases?

Filing for divorce could mean facing some restrictions

An uncontested divorce could take months to finalize. A contested divorce could take much longer. Despite knowing they want to end their marriage, a couple cannot just go their separate ways. The legal process is designed to ensure that assets are divided equitably and Illinois children live in situations that are in their best interests. Although separating may give unhappy spouses a sense of freedom, once the divorce is filed, both parties will have some restrictions placed on what they're able to do until the divorce is final.

Couples who are in the midst of a divorce may not be able to spend money on anything but necessities. Even if one person believes he or she solely owns an asset, he or she cannot sell or dispose of any property until the divorce has been finalized. If a divorcing individual is caught making excessive credit card charges, draining bank accounts or selling property, he or she may have to reimburse his or her soon-to-be ex.

Tips for successful parenting plan negotiations

Parenting agreements can be a significant source of stress for ex-couples living in Illinois. However, there are a variety of steps that parents can take to create a plan that works for both sides. For example, parents should create a list of what they need from a parenting plan as well as a list of things that the other parent may want. This can create a framework for the final parenting agreement.

It may be worth reviewing past custody habits when creating a future custody schedule. If one parent always gets the kids for Thanksgiving, the other should get the kids for Thanksgiving this year. Alternatively, the other parent can keep his or her Thanksgiving tradition in exchange for not having the kids on Christmas or another holiday. In the event that parents are having trouble negotiating a custody agreement, it may be best to take a break.

The rise in women who pay child support and alimony

Compared to previous generations, Illinois woman of today are more likely to be ordered to pay child support and alimony after a divorce. According to a study by Pew Research, women are the breadwinners in around 40 percent of families. In a survey by the American Association of Matrimonial Lawyers, 54 percent of attorneys said that more women were paying child support now compared to three years ago.

While both men and women may resist the idea of being required to pay alimony, women tend to be less prepared for the possibility simply because they may not have been raised with the same expectations. They may also have to pay alimony after leaving marriages that were emotionally, physically or verbally abusive.

Signs the kids may not be handling your divorce well

Children react to divorce differently. Older kids may appear to take it well because they can understand it better, while younger children may find it difficult to adjust.

As a parent, you can watch for signs that your children are struggling with the reality of your divorce, and you can be ready to help.

Gray divorce on the rise nationally

For many people over the age of 50 in Libertyville and across the country, divorce is increasingly common among their age group and demographic cohort. While the divorce rate across the United States has remained steady or even declined over the past two decades, the opposite has been true for people over 50, members of the Baby Boomer generation. Since the mid-1990s, the divorce rate for people over 50 has doubled, and this trend is expected to continue in the coming years.

When people end their marriages over 50, this is referred to as a "gray divorce." The term is applied equally to people ending a relationship that has spanned decades or people who are divorcing after a shorter marriage, often their second or third. There are a number of reasons why the divorce rate for older Americans has grown, including the growth in the average life expectancy in the United States and the larger number of Baby Boomers alive. While in 1990, there were 63.5 people in the United States over 50, with the aging of this generation, that number grew to 99 million by 2010.

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