Preserving the children while breaking up a marriage

On Behalf of | Jan 16, 2018 | Blog

During your divorce, you have an opportunity to show your children that it’s possible to end marital ties with maturity and respect. This includes respect for the love and attachment they have for the other parent, and respecting the tantamount changes they are going to be having to comply with as the family is split. This will support their ongoing relationship with you and your spouse rather than creating memories of an ugly divorce full of slander.

Preserve personal energy to help children

Energy is currency. When you spend too much of it all at once, it can leave you feeling in the negative. Making a life change (e.g. divorce) that will impact you and your children’s future can stir up a host of dark emotions, all fueled with energy. But you do not have to spend that energy all at once.

An amicable divorce is arguably the best way to preserve energy and approach this new life shift. While the aspects of divorce and all the changes attached to it are crowding your thoughts, you may not realize the defining moment you are in to be an example to your children during this ordeal.

Value peace in the midst of a storm

When you value peace, your choices are made in alignment with this value. For example, if you value the peace of parting ways with your children’s mother or father, that value steers the way you communicate and the way you decide to handle matters. One way of proceeding with a amicable divorce is by laying the emotions down to discuss long-term agreements during divorce mediation.

When you value a healthy transition for your children, you will be less likely to engage in destructive game-play or manipulative tactics to turn your children’s affections against the other parent. The energy spent in loud, name-calling arguments may feel good in the moment, but it burns hurtful memories into the minds of your children, who will likely be scarred by divorce and its damaging effects.

Choose wisely where you will spend your energy and what positive or negative impact it could have on your children. Pass on values that will help them navigate relationship conflicts in their future.

How do you think people can work toward an amicable divorce for their children’s sake ?


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