Sometimes you simply can’t avoid the emotional trauma that comes with a divorce. However, this pain does not have to control you throughout the divorce (or in the time after the split). While the job of an experienced divorce attorney is not necessarily to deal with a divorcee’s emotions. (After all, they are not licensed therapists.) However, there are a number of emotional issues that can be avoided by taking some practical cues.
In this post, we will share a few of them.
Understanding one’s feelings is key to finding a solution – In essence, putting yourself into a person’s shoes could lead you to find a solution. More than just a cliche, understanding the emotional triggers that cause a person’s angst (even if they are unreasonable) can help in figuring a way to resolve issues before they become insurmountable problems.
Divorce doesn’t hurt children; parents do – Many people stay in troubled marriages (or are petrified at the thought of divorce) because of the fear of how it may affect children. The truth is, divorce itself does not harm children. Instead, it’s the anger and disrespect communicated through parents that affects children. Because of this, focusing on positive solutions will help children in their transitions.
Communication is key in divorces – Your soon-to-be ex-spouse may be a scoundrel who pushes your buttons (and is difficult to talk to), communication is the key to an amicable divorce. You may feel like if you could communicate with your spouse, you wouldn’t be getting divorced. However, even divorcing parties have to speak to each other to understand their issues.
Life goes on after a divorce – Instead of feeling like you have to destroy your ex in a divorce, focus on what you have to do to move on from an emotionally traumatic situation. This process is important because so many people tend to ignore problems that arise or engage in destructive habits in an attempt to minimize their pain.
A divorce can be a triumph – So many view divorce as a failure, mainly because a relationship you promised to uphold for the rest of your life is unraveling. But no one is perfect and no one can predict the future. When you were saying “I do”, you were not expected to know how or when the marriage would run its course. Knowing when to let go takes courage, and working things out amicably is worth celebrating.
If you have questions about collaborative divorce or other forms of alternative dispute resolution, an experienced attorney can advise you.
