Some marriages in Illinois might end because of behaviors that do not seem significant on their own but can destroy a relationship over time. For example, one person might constantly minimize the other person’s emotional expression, and this can eventually drive a wedge between them.
Avoiding conflict may seem desirable, but it can come at a high cost. Couples who practice conflict avoidance fail to confront the negative things in their relationship they need to work out. Baggage from the past can also destroy a current relationship. An example might be a person who is unable to trust a partner because of the infidelity of a past partner.
Couples need to be open about money and should at least understand one another’s attitudes toward finances even if they do not always handle money in the same way. Another danger is refusing to engage in conversation or conflict, sometimes called “stonewalling.” As with conflict avoidance, this means problems cannot be resolved. Most of these behaviors lead to resentment over time, which can end up being expressed through other harmful behaviors, such as passive aggressiveness.
Finally, many couples change over time and no longer have the same interests or goals. This may happen to some couples after they retire and realize they have little in common.
How the divorce process goes will vary depending on both the reason for divorce and the age and individual situations of the people getting a divorce. For example, while having these issues and behaviors build up over time can mean a couple struggles to negotiate an agreement, mediation may help them resolve conflict without going to litigation. Couples with financial issues may be equally unwilling or unable to reach an agreement about property division and might end up in court. Retired couples may be worried about protecting funds for their retirement.
